Aqsa Parvez, 16, who died Monday December 10, 2007
a night after being attacked in her home by her father
Aqsa was killed by her father for refusing to wear hijab
Mistakes Most Parents Do
I have two beautiful daughters 20 & 23 years old. Raising them was a big challenge for me as a single mother. I learned so much and still learning. I always try to explore and read a lot about raising kids and adolescents. Each child is different and you should deal with them accordingly. What I learned the most I put it together in this blog. Read a long and please feel free to post your comment.
If your child started to hang around with bad friends, the last thing you want to do is to create an enemy by attacking your kid's friend. You surely do not want to create your own monster who would snap off your child from you. This monster will become your enemy who probable have more influence on your child than you do. Every word comes out of your mouth trashing your child’s friend goes directly to this person even if you ask your child not to tell? This person will get a very bad idea about you and thinks that you are weird parent. He would do anything to turn your child against you. When you do that, you get yourself involved in a big battle with your child and your child's friend. and you would definitely lose the battle. If your child is angry at you, who would he complaint to? Of course his friend. DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF, ACT WISELY!.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
Get closer to your child’s friend
- Instead of placing yourself in a battle with your child and your child’s friend, try to get closer. Invite him over or out for dinner. Make your child feel proud and not embarrassed of his mother. This will give you an opportunity know him. You can discuss issues in a friendly manner. You can raise a topic and listen to their thoughts. Keep listening until everyone finish talking. Teens like to talk about themselves and wanted someone to listed to them, not listen to all the time. Wisely, you can start to add your thoughts and opinion. Talk with respect. Children in this age are in between young adults and big kids. They need you but trying to break away from you. They want to be treated as adults. Remember positive manner develops positive results.
Hire a mentor
- Find an adult or a responsible young adult whom you trust and your child like and respect. Ask this person to keep in touch with your child and be his/her mentor. Be careful not to pressure your child’s mentor to reveal the secrets, instead just ask if you should be worried or any serious action need to be taken. If yes, get together to discuss the options.
Challenge your teen
- There are huge number of activities and programs for teenagers to join. Some are free offered by the government and some are private if you can afford it. My favourite program is student summer exchange. It is designed for age 16 & 17. I personally tired it with my child when she was 16. She went to stay with a family in
- International travel for teachers and students
- Ontario Teen Summer Camp
- Summer Work Student Exchange (Very Good for 16 & 17 years old)
- It is important to keep connection with your child. Never give up on your teen child no matter how hard it gets. If you raised your child with morals and solid roots he will eventually come back to you and go back to his basics, you have to have faith in your child to make it work. Keep trying, no matter what. Sometimes, it is very difficult challenge for parents and children, but with your patience, persistence, faith and wisdom it will work.
3 comments:
Islam is a disease affecting a society. It manifests itself in a number of disgusting ways. One is the phenomena called honor killing.
Islam uses religion as a deception to squelch critical examination of its core teachings of hate. Political correctness keeps us from pealing back the deception.
Islam the disease will continue seeping into Western society if we don’t take off the PC blinders. Hopefully we will come to our senses before the West looks like Beirut.
Just the more reasons why people shouldn't have children if they put them through public schools to brainwash them into immoral "Western values". Many children taught in public schools are brainwashed to rebel and go against to their loving family. If I was the father and a devout Muslim who had a daughter, I would put her to a Muslim school. Too bad this father seems to can't afford to put her in a private Muslim school for girls being a Taxi driver supporting the whole family.
i think pierre is very backwards for what he said. ISLAM IS NOT A DISEASE IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PEACFEUL RELIGION I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS. and i am not just saying that becuase i am muslim myself, infact i am a revert. and i have never een at such peace in my mind in my life. in islam it is not said to kill your child if they go against islam. so the father did not do what he did for islam he must have done it beciase of his own backward thinking and he WILL be punished for that. if a christain father killed his daughter for not folowing christianity then headlines would have said 'FATHER KILLS DAUGHTER' why not 'CHRISTIAN FATHER KILLS DAUGHTER'?.. BUT when it is a muslim family involved, the words:MUSLIM, ISLAM, ISLAMIC and even TERRORIST OR TALIBAN must be included. shame on you. the media is the one that is a bad disease that should be stopped.
ISLAM IS THE WAY OF LIFE. =D
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